


Masochistic Sympathy

by Razega



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-29
Updated: 2013-10-31
Packaged: 2017-12-30 19:42:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1022644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Razega/pseuds/Razega
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren and Levi reflect on the reality and failure that was the 57th Expedition beyond the Wall. Both are emotionally boiling and unexpectedly meet, snapping on each other. Words are not something they can use to sympathize with one another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic for the SnK fandom, and the first fic I've written and published in over five years. Please be gentle, as I had/have no beta, and edited this by myself. Please let me know of any mistakes you find, and enjoy!

Fucking bullshit.  
It was all nothing but fucking bullshit and some stupid goddamned devil did it all. Made these fucking Titans. Thought it would be hysterical to make them... make them eat humans. A devil because there was no such thing as a God who would make the world that way. Eren repeated the thought inside his head over and over again, anger rising each time.  
It was unfair.  
Eren sat in his dark cell, thoughts of darkness and despair clouded his head. Painfully he though about the events of the day, and the expedition. About his team, who sacrificed everything just for him. He ached for them desperately. This ache, whirling around on a roulette repetitively between sorrow and rage written over and over again against every other tile.  
His head was pounding, but he couldn't stop the onslaught of their happy faces, joking about Lance Corporal Levi, and their laughter at dinner. Shame and dread filled his being, asking himself what if he'd gone back and fought for them. What if...  
Plenty of too-late "what if"'s flooded in. What if Eren had beaten her when he shifted. What if Mikasa had ended up dead along with his team. What if that damned female titan had killed everyone, had killed him.  
Hot tears spilled angrily out of the depths of turquoise eyes, and he wiped furiously at them. They would not cease. An overwhelming sadness clenched at his chest making it even harder to breathe through his uneven hyperventilating. Grabbing at his shirt, Eren fumbled with the clasp and strap, all of the sudden too constricting across his chest. It was just too much. He couldn't get them off, now impatient and increasingly upset. He couldn't fucking breathe. His labored breath became shallow gasps, suddenly terrified of suffocating under this damned strap. Hands shaking even worse, and more tears blurring his vision, the young man just gave up.  
Head pounding in his ears, his teeth ground and his fists clenched, Eren stared into nothing. His eyes not seeing in front of him, he lurched forward, mechanically squabbling for purchase on his bed and spilled his guts onto the concrete floor for a period of time he did not know of. Coughing the last of it out, a wail ripped from Eren's throat and he couldn't control the sobs that wracked his chest and the pounding of his fists on his lap. Anger and grief let themselves out all at once, in a tidal wave.  
He couldn't stand the barely visible sight of his own bile on the floor, and yelled up the cellar stairs for the guard. Heavy footfalls were heard slowly descending the stairs, and a mop of blonde hair peeked down into his cell, hands on hips.  
"What is it? Can't you keep your fit down?" He asked. Jether, Eren recalled his name, wasn't smiling. Eren presumed everyone in the castle was in a foul mood, all downtrodden from their failure outside the Wall.  
Eren wiped his mouth, not bothering to fight his legs to stand. Too afraid to fall into his own mess, he croaked, "Can you please send for Squad Leader Hanji, and a bucket with water and a rag?". He didn't need to acknowledge the grunt that Jether rewarded to him. The younger knew he heard Eren vomiting on the floor. The brunette didn't care.  
_____________________  
"...Oi, Eren..." The sound barely registered. "-en, wake up..." He took a breath, smelled the rank of his floor, and realized that he somehow had fallen asleep or passed out. "EREN."  
Slamming his body into a sitting position, Eren whipped his head to the side, noticing Hanji standing there with a bucket of cold water and a mop at her feet. He looked down at his hands, and back at Hanji, who was wearing a guarded expression on her usually smiling face.  
He got up, slow and vision blurred, only to fall forward and barely catch himself on the bars of his cell. "I'm sorry, Hanji-san... to... keep you waiting..." the young man whispered. His heavy eyes snapped up to her, and for a moment he felt as if he would vomit again. There was nothing left in his stomach to bring up, and from the way Hanji looked at his mess upon the stone, they both knew it.  
He moved aside, letting the woman in. Hanji picked up the bucket and set it beside the puddle. She dipped the mop into the water, and brought it out to scrub at the bile. "You know, Eren... you were smart to call for me and not the Corporal. He would've..." she cut herself off abruptly, suddenly not in the mood for joking about the Corporal she knew was upstairs stewing in his own privacy.  
______________________  
In his own dark crevice of the castle, Lance Corporal Levi sat at his desk, watching his tea grow cold. He had dealt with death so many times, and expedition failure was something he knew just as well. Still, he couldn't help but let his thoughts wander...  
Usually upon returning from another unsuccessful mission outside the walls, the Corporal would do some paperwork, minimally stress about the council and what they would think, and be pissed off. Then he would go downstairs to the dining hall, where he knew his squad was sitti-  
They were not there. They were all outside of the wall somewhere, no more than stomped-on dust and bloodstains by now. The thought suddenly made him choke. A flashing image of Petra's body nothing more than a boot in the grass, maybe some fingers and a few strands of auburn hair, the rest stomped and matted into the dirt and probably stuck to the bottom of a titan's heel.  
"Well..." he said to his tea cup, "At least we have that shitty brat." The shorter man made a hissing sound under his breath, and shoved himself away from his desk, too disgusted to look at his cold tea anymore.  
Deciding to take a shit and a cold night walk, he stomped his way to the door, listening intently before he quietly creeped out. He didn't want to see anyone, not tonight. Not when his thoughts were so distressing and he was so close to snapping someone's head off or blowing his composure in favor of a breakdown.  
Corporal's dark hair was a mess, no longer soft and straight in its perfect cut. Scrunched and knotted in some places from his fists having a battle upon his head, fingernail scratches over his cheeks and red eyes from where he had rubbed the threat of salty water out of his eyes, he looked dead. He would continue to mourn, for as long as he saw fit. Only, hell if he would let anyone else see it.  
Humanity's strongest, he thought with a sneer. The people who helped him be the strongest, and the people who supported him the most, are now all gone. He contemplated verbally abusing Hanji to make himself feel better and relieve some of the stress. He wouldn't do it. She was mourning, too, like everyone else in this disastrous legion.  
It was still quiet by the time Levi reached the bathroom on the upper level of the castle. Eyes bored and groggy, the raven-haired man chose the stall he deemed cleanest, and settled into his business. While he sat, he thought about what Erwin and Hanji were both up to. He knew he wanted to be alone, but the idea of going back to his dark thoughts in his lonely office was less and less appealing.  
_______________________________  
Eren was grateful for Hanji being so good to him. Almost motherly at times, especially cleaning up his vomit while he could do no more than stand limp against the cold bars of his cell, trying desperately to regain control of his shaky, gelatin legs.  
Hanji smiled at him at last, breaking the misery of the whole ordeal. She wrung out the mop and took Eren's hand and said, "Are you going to be alright? I'll need you healthy if I'm going to experiment on you in the future." and she gave his hair a ruffle.  
The younger let out a breath as he threw a shallow smile at her. "I'll be alright. For now, just got to get my legs back so I can go to the bathroom." he told her. Hanji offered him her services of helping him to the bathroom if he could wait until she went to dump the bucket of sullied water. Eren shook it off and gave her his best boyish grin, reminding her members of the Scouting Corps can walk to the bathroom like big boys.  
Reluctantly, Hanji left him in peace, telling him if he really needed her, to just call. Eren heard her unnecessarily reprimanding Jether to come get her immediately if Eren seemed distressed. He couldn't help but feel even worse, the thought that all of these people that were going out of their way for his sake became ridiculous. The hope for Humanity.  
After a few more moments, and testing his wits, Eren deemed himself well enough to ascend the stairs and head to the bathroom. Luckily Hanji left his cell door open for him, knowing he should clean himself up.  
However, now able to stand, Eren noted that he really didn't want to go spiraling back down emotionally and that he didn't want to see anyone else. So to clear his head, he would avoid the bathroom on the main floor and go for a nice walk, heading towards the bathroom on the upper level of the castle.  
________________________________  
Finished with his business, Levi went to the sink, washing his hands and arms thoroughly before noticing his own face in the mirror. He looked tired, even more so than usual. Scarier, too, he added with a half sneer. He never worried about the bags under his eyes.  
A sarcastic thought struck his brain, thinking that Auruo would make some pathetic joke about how he would always look scary, and that Auruo and Petra were the ones with the good looks on the squad.  
It fucking hurt.  
Rage struck inside of him so fast and hard that Levi swore his jaw cracked a bit from how hard he smacked his teeth together. He wanted to rip his face off, tear his hair out and scream. The pain was completely bearable since he was a slight masochist, but the effortless thoughts that plagued him if he didn't train his thoughts elsewhere; they were exhausting. Of course he was an insomniac.  
The emotion was boiling, bubbling up and Levi had to throw cold water onto his face over and over and focus on breathing in order to begin regaining his composure.  
He would not crack. That's the last damned thing he would do. "You're Humanity's fucking strongest." he spat into the sink. "Get a hold of yo-" stopping short and cutting himself off, he heard footsteps approach the bathroom door.  
Glaring at the ugly brown of the door, Levi hissed when it opened, and he was rather shocked to find none other than that fucking shitty brat. Fuck.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think you know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this tends to be quite a bit of rambling.

Standing there like a citizen in the face of an titan for the first time, Eren couldn't find the explanation of why he was there. He opened his mouth once, twice, and by the third time, his Heichou was fed up.

Storm-cloud eyes narrowed into threatening little slits, "What are you doing up here you little shit?" he asked, clearly not amused. The only change on Eren's face was the increasing redness of his cheeks. "Oi, I asked you a question." Levi stated. He took a step closer.  
"I... I, uh, I..." Eren mumbled, scratching the back of his head.

"Tch, whatever. Do what you want." Levi turned away, continuing his assessment in the mirror. The shorter male didn't want to even deal with Eren, didn't have the patience or the will. He shortly thought about punching him in the face, kicking his teeth in and stomping on his back until the boy passed out, but the Corporal couldn't even muster that effort.

Eren looked confused, and walked to the sink two spaces away from the one his beloved Heichou was using. He turned the knob to hot, and drew his blue toothbrush from the back pocket of his white uniform denims. "I came to use this restroom to clean myself up for bed. I did not want to encounter any one else, Sir.", the brunette said in one breath. He hadn't realized he'd held it.

In fear of a beating, Eren quickly stole the small roll of toothpaste from his own pocket, squirted a bead onto his wet brush, and replaced it with shaky fingers. The boy let out a sigh, and began to scrub away at his dirty mouth, refusing to look at the man standing mere feet away from him.

Levi noticed Eren's hesitancy, and bitter mood. He saw how tired the teen looked, and couldn't figure out why. Grey-blue eyes scanned the stout young man, seeing the heavy sag of his darkened eyes, and the way his breath was haggard and slow. Eren's knuckles caught his attention, turning white because he gripped the sink so hard. "What's the matter with you?" asked Levi.

Eren choked a little on the foam in his mouth, flashing his eyes to the superior. He spit into the sink, rinsed his mouth, set his toothbrush down, and looked at the floor. "I'm tired. Shifting wore me out today, you know that... Sir.", he whispered, turning away to stifle a fake yawn. He really didn't want to be having a pointless conversation with the Corporal, and he definitely didn't want him to know that Eren had a breakdown.

"Take a dump and go to bed, then. You've got a lot of work to do in the next few days." The older said to his charge. After a moment of dead standoff silence, Levi huffed a sigh, throwing another handful of water over his face. He could feel Eren's big eyes on him, assessing him. "What?", he snapped.

Eren hesitated, but then stepped a stride closer to him, "Permission to ask a question, Sir?".

Grey-blue met turquoise for a moment, narrowing. Guarded, Levi mumbled, "Granted." and Eren's eyes sunk a milometer more. Something was bothering the boy.

"Are... are you going to be alright, Heichou, Sir?" The younger asked, looking down on the stoic face of his Corporal. His fists clenched and unclenched at his sides, and he stood as tall as he could.

Levi's heart skipped a beat and he panicked inside of himself for a split second. He asked himself, was he really going to be okay? He would live on, but how would he be affected...

"Sir...?" Eren broke his train of thought, bending a little closer to look at that beautifully pale face.

Alarmed at the sudden closeness of the younger, Levi automatically shoved Eren, hard. "Get the hell out of my face, brat.", he spat. Eren, butt and elbows on the floor, stood up furiously. He was upset, and almost enraged. The wide-eyed teen growled a sharp command at himself under his breath. Levi thought he heard something about staying calm.

"What was that for, Sir?" Eren hissed the last word, almost mocking the elder soldier. His eyes were wild, his body suddenly exploding just beneath the surface of his skin.

Levi was hesitant, ready to strike Eren down if he needed to. "I don't have to explain that to you. Now get out of my sight.", he chided.  
Eren showed teeth, his brows knitting together and eyes closing. He stood there, unknowingly blocking the only exit from the room. His hands were shaking, still perpetually opening and closing into fists. "I asked you a serious question, Sir!" he shouted a little more than he should have. He could not find the care that he had raised his voice at his superior. He just couldn't.

Always one to stay cool under pressure, or in a fight, Levi crossed his arms, searching for the thing to say to diffuse the wild-eyed boy. "Why should I answer to a shit stained kid?", he said, tone completely serious. With that question, he was reminding Eren who exactly was in charge here.

"Because I care about your feelings, and I want to make sure you're going to be okay, Sir! Your whole squad is de-" Eren was cut off, nothing more than a choking sound escaping his mouth. Levi's hand was on his throat, his thin black brows knitted together and his face utterly feral. Even under the pressure on his neck, Eren could feel the shake in his Heichou's hand.

Levi held in a gasp, hardly concealing the breaking point he was about to peak. "Shut. Up. You don't get to spout your filth to me. Do not, ever, tell me what I already know.", he spoke, voice cracking the entire time.

Eren had the decency to fucking smile. He put one gentle hand on the one wrapped around his throat, unafraid of the man before him. Seeing how easily he cracked, really, truly seeing that he was in-fact not okay somehow diffused Eren. Made him realize just how human his Corporal was, and he was honestly glad.

"...Thank you, Heichou. Thank you for telling me the truth." Eren whispered, sighing of relief. It really broke Levi, right then and there. That fucking shitty brat was thanking him for cracking... for breaking down.

"Why?" Levi rasped, grip receding, though his hand remained around Eren's throat. He was trying, trying so desperately hard to control himself. To not let it out. Keep it inside, he told himself a thousand times in the two seconds it took for Eren to answer and break down his walls.

A light, breathy laugh, "Humanity's strongest is still human, after all. Thank you for being honest and showing that to me, even if you meant to keep it all inside...Sir." Eren breathed into the small space between them, closing his eyes.

Levi couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that trash could be so insightful to fucking read him. To break down his walls with one simple sentence. How could that greenhorn know how he was feeling, and just... just say that like it was okay...

A flashing image of Petra's angelic face pressed him, knowing if she were here and knew what was happening, she would tell him the same fucking thing. That everything would be okay, smiling at him all the while.

Levi wasn't one to believe in heaven and hell, gods and devils... but for once he thought if maybe this was Petra's way of telling him it would all be alright, and that he would survive. Damn that woman.

A split second was all the thought took, and it nearly killed him. A tidal wave of emotions hit him, like it had Eren earlier in the evening. Levi didn't know what was happening to him, and before he could stop himself, he bit into Eren's shoulder to stifle the sob working its way up his throat.

His charge gasped, hand curling around Levi's against his slender neck. The teen grasped it, and for unknown reasons, brought the paler fingers to his lips and kissed each one while Levi squeezed his eyes shut and sank his teeth deeper into the muscle.

Eren, ever protective, was thinking how cruel and unfair life was. How someone as strong as his Corporal didn't deserve something like this. His thoughts sank darker, wondering how bad it must be for the man before him, who knew these people for many long years ahead of himself. He wondered if this was a glimpse into his future, when one day Mikasa and Armin, and even himself... would all perish. It made his heart wrench in his very core.

A fist beat against Eren's tightening chest then, and his superior grabbed at his hair. His teeth popped out of his shoulder, a drop of blood at the corner of his Corporal's mouth. The beating fist turned into a a fistful of Eren's shirt, and the younger thought he felt himself being tugged down to the floor.

Panicking, he looked at his Heichou's face. Really looked at him, and the mess he was quickly becoming. Eren's eyes widened, seeing the tell tale sparking of tears at the rims of Levi's eyes. His teeth clenched, remembering the pain he felt earlier. It crashed into him, breaking the trembling wall he built after his first breakdown. It was enough to make him gasp for air, suddenly not enough between the two of them. His throat bobbed with the oncoming threat of more angry and grieving tears and he grunted in frustration.

Levi panted beneath Eren's chin, his own frustration making him feel sick. His hand still wrapped in the boys shirt, he made a sound somewhere between a strangled sob and a muffled grunt. His nails dug into Eren's scalp, yanking him forward in their tangle on the floor.

Eren's own fingers gripped Levi's hand too tight, and his free hand found its way crawling up to Levi's shoulder and wrapping around his back. Crushing themselves to one another, Eren was aware that Levi dug his teeth into the column of his neck, and he felt the hot trickle of blood that ran slow and burning down the side. The teen's nails dug into his Heichou's back through the soft cotton of his white shirt. He heard Levi grunt and tense for a moment before relaxing.

When he bit the boy a bit harder, the Corporal was painfully happy that Eren raked his nails across his back just after to alleviate his own pain and frustration. He released the abused skin, moving to the brunette's ear to share more of his pain.

Turquoise eyes shot open, tears rushing down his face as the pain in his neck grew, fresh wounds breathing as the teeth suddenly ripped themselves from the gnarled skin. He prevented himself from crying out by the same means, and he sank his teeth into the pale elder's flesh, just under an ear.   
It really fucking hurt.

Giving up on the failing battle over his emotions, Levi gave in, curling himself around Eren as much as possible.There was too much of that fucking boy to go around, and the Corporal quickly found himself in the gangly teen's lap. He didn't want to admit it to anyone, and he knew that Eren had already figured out he was enjoying the pain the boy was distracting him with.

The raven-haired man wasn't done having his internal battle, and he was finding it hard to breathe. Everything was just so fucking shitty right in that moment. His squad was dead, the Council was pissed and they were going to take Eren away from him. He had failed as Humanity's Strongest, and there wasn't even anything Erwin could do about it.

It suddenly dawned on Levi that Eren was grieving for reasons of his own, and that was why he was so disheveled and upset earlier. He reflected on how the boy felt, how much pressure he must feel to be the hope for Humanity. He pitied him, and admired him all at the same time between the pleasurable, pained tingles shooting up his spine.

Admired his will and determination, and that fucking clumsy smile and those wide depths of blue-green that had seen plenty of their own death and destruction in such a short period of time. He realized in an awful hurry, that he actually cared about his charge, and the last living member of his squad, sans himself. It made Levi's heart ache, and so many emotions he couldn't try to grasp them all flew through him in a matter of a millisecond.

Eren had been busying himself crushing Levi to his chest and marring the skin on his neck, raking his nails down his back at the same time. He muffled a few screams into the bloody flesh in his mouth, body absolutely rigid. That damned thought of a dead Mikasa spinning again and again before him. He needed a distraction, and something to put him over this bridge all at once. Quickly, the teen started with licking at the holes his teeth had left to distract himself from that painstaking image of a dead sister.

A rush of pleasure came over Levi, noticing Eren's ministrations to his chewed flesh. He sat up quicker than he intended, a little wary of the boy. Pain and pleasure were something Levi would gladly mix to perfectly fit this situation, but he didn't want to drag the titan-shifter down with him.

Eren, the poor boy, was utterly confused why his Heichou sat up abruptly when Eren needed him so badly. He freaked out for a moment of two, trying desperately to find something else to distract himself with. He licked two fingers and stuck them against the holes in his own neck, hissing a sigh at the minimal relief.

Levi felt bad for not treating the wounds, and slowly moved his head back to the shifters neck, making certain to give Eren plenty of time to protest. When he felt the boy almost push his neck to him, Levi gently gave the bleeding wound a few strokes with his tongue, sweeping it over the marks. The elder was surprised to hear a small moan escape the younger man's throat.

Eren gripped the male's back, grasping onto it as a lifeline to keep him grounded. It felt ridiculously good, and he was glad that Levi was giving in to the idea. After a few more sweeps of his wet muscle, his Heichou began to suck at the wounds. The titan-shifter let out a louder moan, and Levi swore he felt the Eren rut against him in the slightest. He didn't even bother to hide the pleasure. Fucking brat.  
The grey-eyed man pushed Eren onto his back, and sat up. Knees on either side of those deliciously thin hips, Levi could feel a small prod against his groin. That brat was getting a hard on beneath him. Dammit.

Eren was embarrassed, having an erection in front of his Heichou, even if that meant things were going in the right direction. It was Levi's fault though, sucking at his neck like that. He grew frustrated at the thought, and the lack of anything happening. Levi just sat there, perched on his hips, staring down at him intently with a strange look in his eyes. The Corporal was fully aware that Eren was becoming flustered, and frustrated at the lack of friction. He narrowed his eyes at the boy, figuring if he leaned down and just waited, Eren would either make a move or awkwardly ask him to please release him. He didn't want to be held responsible for starting this bodily war, didn't want to participate in the decision. So he just left it there for Eren to take it or leave it.

When Eren made no move to throw him off or say anything, Levi's face was already so close to the tanned lips of the younger soldier he could nearly taste them. He stopped moving, and held that difficult position, eyes intense while studying the other pair. A mixture of sexual frustration, embarrassment, longing and some other emotions crossed over the teen's face, and he opened his mouth in a whine. A real, wanton whine. Levi smirked, deliberately licking his lips within an inch of Eren's own.

He had enough of the games. He wanted this, wanted this man perched above him to distract him and share his pain in the most intimate way possible. Damn it all, he was already getting hard. So, he kissed him.

Eren was brave, putting those lips against his Heichou's. He had not been terribly surprised when Levi kissed him back just as fiercely, either. He knew the elder man well enough to know he liked toying with his prey a little. Enjoyed the pain of others. He would be his prey tonight, alright, but Eren would not stand to be toyed with when he needed this so badly.

Their tongues danced a bit, teeth clashing in the fast paced need of their kiss. Levi's hand snaked into Eren's hair and he fisted it, yanking Eren's head to the side. The younger man was certain Levi was glad Eren had brushed his teeth just minutes ahead of time. He could tell from the appreciative hum that sounded from the elder when he tasted the minty fresh of his mouth mingled with blood.

Eren didn't care anymore. He didn't care if anyone walked in on them, and he didn't care that he would lose his virginity to his Heichou right there on the cold floor of the bathroom. He needed this, and that was all he could manage to think before his mind clouded with nothing except everything that was Levi.

Grey eyes opened to stare into the blue-green pools of his charge. He could only feel a little sad that he was doing this to the poor boy, but that damned brat had started it, he thought with a smirk. He felt bad for doing this to him right here on the floor, but then again the titan-shifter didn't seem to care at all. He continued on.

Lips caressed each other, and their necks. Anything they could reach. At some point in their kissing, Eren started clawing at Levi's shirt, nipping at the elder's lips playfully. The Corporal didn't know where Eren had picked up these little things. Sure his kissing was a bit sloppy, but it had been so long since he himself had kissed someone that Levi found he didn't mind all that much.

The virgin, lying beneath his intended lover, was having a hard time breathing, and had to throw his head back for air. Levi took the opportunity to slowly lick up the column of the boy's tanned neck to his jaw, bringing his nimble fingers to the buttons on Eren's shirt. While he sucked on a particularly sensitive collarbone, in one fluid movement he ripped open the garment.

Eren shuddered at the sound of Levi's grunt as he did so, appreciating the rough need. His hips made shallow thrusts upward of their own accord, his mind swept blank.

Levi wasted no time in brushing his thumb over a nipple, gently nipping at the other. He enjoyed Eren's gasp a bit too much, flicking his tongue over it in reward. The shorter man held his hips farther apart, groaning lowly at the increased friction it caused. Eren began to let out small moans with each touch of their groins, and using what little finesse he had, snagged two fingers in the knot of Levi's stupid goddamned cravat, cursing the thing and wishing it would just burst into flame.

A chuckle left Levi's lips, and he expertly removed the offending accessory in one motion. He found himself rolling his hips suddenly into the boy, and Eren had to throw an arm over his eyes, mouth hanging open in pleasure, cheeks red as tomatoes.

The elder sat up then, removing Eren's arm from over his face, and making the boy watch as he intimately opened each button of his shirt, slower than the last. Eren's whines were increasing the lower he got. Even Levi was having a hard time controlling his anticipation, and his body was electrified. When a pert little nipple came into Eren's view, the boy's hand shot up to gently caress it. The motion elicited a hiss from Levi.

More, Eren wanted more, and as soon as possible. He wasted no time in sitting up, kissing his Corporal's chest. He wrapped a strong hand around his back, pressing that pale skin into his waiting face. Eren's tongue swept over his nipple, blowing cold air onto it.

Pain and pleasure, exactly what Levi was looking for. Eren was doing a wonderful job of it, keeping Levi's mind as blank as Eren's own. He closed his eyes and bit his lips to keep his moans at bay while Eren nipped and roughly placed love bites all over his chest. His hand fisted the younger's hair and yanked his head back. Levi leaned down to bite at Eren's lips, demanding entrance to his mouth.  
The shifter complied, battling his tongue with Heichou's for dominance. Levi won out in the end, not that Eren minded. He grabbed the hips perched over his own, slamming him down into his lap; the more pressure the better, he thought.

Shadowed turquoise eyes looked up, storm-cloud grey looked down, and they froze in time for a moment, asking the question and receiving the same answer they both needed so desperately. 

With deadly precision and speed, Levi had Eren on his back again, the boy's head slammed back on the concrete floor. The shifter bit his tongue when his teeth clattered from the force, and he growled at the elder, but it went unheard in favor of the sounds of metal buckles and leather smacking against the floor in a hurry.

Levi complied by removing Eren's pants, his straps already thrown around him. It was getting harder to take his time, and he wanted nothing more than to fuck the brunette into the ground. He drew a shaky breath, sitting back on his haunches to admire his work and imprint the image into his mind for eternity.

Eren was lying on his back, a smear of blood on the corner of his mouth, Levi guessing from his tongue. One hand was working its fingers just under the hem of his boxers, and the other was thrown over his face. That unmarred, tanned chest rising and falling with the shivering pants of the teen.

Levi's eyes landed on the enticing proof of Eren's consent to this task. He reached a hand out to touch it through the material, and Eren stopped breathing for a second. His breath hitched, and he moaned loudly. He rubbed a hand down the front of himself and heard Heichou's grunt of approval.

Levi's deft fingers worked his own buckles and straps halfway down his thighs, bringing the front of his uniform pants open. He took one of Eren's hands to his erection, standing proud. Eren gasped and smirked when he felt it, hot and heavy in his hand. He gave his Corporal a few experimental strokes, rudely setting on a rough, tortuously slow pace.

The boy's hand was smacked away, and just as Eren was about to protest, he saw Levi's face. The elder was breathing shallow, his abdomen quivering slightly. His cheeks and ears were burned red, and his mouth was hanging open, eyes fluttering closed. He was so close already, that Eren felt bad for stroking him as he had.

It dawned on the boy that this may have been the first time in years that his Heichou had been touched like this. It made him feel good to know he was able to rile him up this way. Levi grabbed Eren's hips after he regained his breath. Hooking two fingers, he slid the teen's undergarment down his legs, smirking when the shifter's erection popped above the elastic band.

Once they were off, he grabbed Eren's thighs and shoved them open. Holding him at the ankles, Levi pulled the young man closer, so that Levi's erection was resting against Eren's own. Both parties made pleasured grunts and hisses.

Eren grabbed at their touching parts, giving them a few squeezes together. Levi was too far gone already, his body became still, back arched as he thrust his member against the younger man.

The brunette wasn't stupid, he knew how to please a penis. He aggressively rubbed the two together, slick with their own pre-cum. His eyes plastered onto Levi's face, waiting for that moment to see pure bliss on it. It was getting hard to keep his eyes on his prize, as he felt the coil twist tight in his own gut.

With a sudden shudder, a stifled moan and a bruising grip on Eren's leg, Levi came hard, slouched over Eren, his back curled forward, and his forehead landed on the boys shoulder. Eren's hand stilled as he watched the pleasure shoot across Levi's face, star-struck.

A minute or two later, filled with pants of satisfaction, Levi lifted his head, looking his charge dead in the eyes. Without breaking the contact, he brought two fingers to his own lips, running his tongue between them and sucking them. The fingers, once lubricated properly, found their way to Eren's entrance. They boy jolted momentarily, eyes wide as they stared into his Corporal's. They flashed with small pleasure as Levi experimentally ran them around the puckered lip in a circle and up to the back of his balls and down again.  
Eren shivered and leaned forward, touching his forehead to Levi's, unable to keep the staring contest up. He panted, while messy hands grabbed onto Levi's shoulders and bit into his neck as the elder suddenly shoved one inside of his tight ass. Levi moaned, and Eren wasn't sure if it was from the bite, or the feeling of the sweet pressure around his digit. Tanned fingers dug into the scarred back of his superior, sure to leave bruises tomorrow.

Levi used the second finger to soothe the pain, rubbing it gently against the hole. He moved the other in and out, testing Eren. The boy shook beneath him, and sucked in quick breaths in time with each push of the finger. No more than a minute later, Eren's breathy gasps turned into pleasured little whimpers. It was then that Levi eased the second finger into his entrance, hissing as it was engulfed with ease.

Eren was moaning, spreading his legs wider for Levi, and he released his neck to lie back on the floor again. His back arched high as he came off the floor and shouted when Levi curled his fingers to hit a particular spot inside of Eren.

Found it.

Levi smirked, scissoring the boy open, anticipation welling in his chest and making it harder to breath. The sight of Eren, lying there on the floor, naked beneath him, writhing in pleasure was too good, and he found his member twitching again with no trouble after seeing the brat call out for him like in such a way.

Much too quickly for Eren's taste, Levi's finger were gone, only to be replaced with something much bigger and hotter. Eren screamed, pain shooting up his back and clouding his vision. Tears stung the corners of his eyes, he was stunned and the pain wouldn't stop. It felt like he was burning alive from the inside out.

Levi was panting above him, and once Eren focused on his face, that pain turned into pleasure. His Heichou was on his knees, eyes downcast, watching Eren in return. Those skilled hands were gripping Eren around the thighs, holding them against his chest and he slammed himself into Eren over and over again.

The younger, all of the sudden embarrassed by the lewd situation, realized he was being fucked on the floor by his Corporal.

He.  
Was.  
Being.  
Fucked.

Eren's ears and face grew so hot he thought they would melt off. His own erection twitched when Levi gave a particularly breathy moan, sinking himself deep inside of the boy. It continued on that way for a few minutes, neither one with a care in the world but one another, sharing this moment.

Just when Levi thought he couldn't go on any longer, Eren began to cry out in loud moans, too caught up in his own pleasure to care if he was letting the entire castle know exactly what his Corporal was doing to him.

It spurred Levi into bliss, that white-hot piston screwing itself as tight as could in the pit of his belly. His thrusts became shallow and quick, his teeth drawing blood from his lip to stifle the embarrassing noises that wanted to spill forth.

Eren was close, and he knew it. The teen's erection was swollen and red, dripping for Levi, aching to be jerked by those deft, pale hands. Turquoise eyes went from Levi's face, back to his own member, and back again, nearly pleading for Levi to do all of the work. Typical, he thought.

As he reached down and touched the shifter, Eren gave a heavy sigh. Levi slowed his own thrusts to focus on Eren's beautiful appendage. He fisted it, licking his lips.

A few hard strokes later, and Eren was cumming. The brunette saw stars, his eyes screwed shut in guttural bliss. That look on his boyish face, and the raspy sounds of his pleasure falling from his irresistible lips had Levi in a spell. He could feel the insane pressure of Eren's tight ass on him, shoving his cock back into him a few last times before he sheathed himself all the way and spilled everything he could into him.

Both men were entirely spent, minds too numb to think about the pain and reality of the day they'd had. Levi pulled out, and noticed the stupid grin plastered on Eren's face. He reached over to where the teen's shirt had been discarded, using it to wipe the dried cum off of himself. In a tender moment of gratitude, he gently wiped it from Eren's body as well.

On shaky legs, Levi stood up and zipped his pants. He looked down at Eren, who was nearly asleep on the floor, not a care in the ugly world.

"...Oi, Eren..." Levi called, voice completely hoarse from disuse and stifled, guttural moans.

Eren's eyes snapped to attention, the sound of his actual name coming off his Heichou's lips strange, but pleasurable.  
The teen sat up, and when he tried to stand he let out a pained hiss. His insides hurt, and his legs were jello. Levi smirked, "Don't fall asleep on the floor, shitty brat. Clean yourself up and come to bed." The shorter man helped him up off the floor, careful hands steadied him until he could stand on his own.

Eren nodded and rubbed at his eyes, exhausted, and something struck in his mind. He coughed and stuttered, "C-come to bed, Sir?". His eyes searched Levi's for some sort of mocking joke, but he found none. A smug smile graced Corporal's bruised lips, and he turned to walk to the sink.

For no reason, Eren was nervous. He just had dirty, aggressive sex with this man, and he was nervous about sharing a bed with him. He laughed, Eren did, and shook his head at his own ridiculous nerves. The shifter slowly walked to the sink beside the one Levi was using, and washed his hands. Both men bird-bathed, a silent agreement that they were too tired to bother with going to the showers.

While they shuffled back to Levi's room by way of the late night moon, Eren thought to himself about just how amazing that experience was. He wondered if it was any good for Levi, who had done that sort of thing before. He didn't want to fret over it, but it bothered him a little that Levi didn't say whether it was good or not.

Levi looked at his charge, stood up on tip-toes, and placed a gentle kiss to his forehead as thanks. Before pulling away, he whispered, "Don't go doing that with anyone else, I don't need you to try and impress me...".

Eren looked down at him. That still didn't answer the question of whether he thought it was good or not. Smart as a whip, before Eren could protest or ask his pestering question, Levi said, "You were messy and sloppy, yes. On the bright side, that leaves more opportunities for me to teach you how to improve, and you can practice on me.", and kissed the boy's swollen lips once more before opening his door to retire for the evening.

The shifter followed, stunned into silence. He thought that this was as good a way as any to start a relationship with his Heichou, but the idea of it was slightly disturbing. All of the pain they had each suffered and shared just now was terrible. What would he ever do if he lost his Corporal...

As much distress as that brought Eren, he couldn't will himself to think heavily on it until he was rested. With a conflicted heart, he trudged on after his beloved Heichou, deciding to speak with the shorter man about it tomorrow.

This love would not be easy.  
It would be tried, and they would fight with each other.  
But they would love twice as hard.  
And fight for each other ten fold.  
It was a risk.  
A huge one, indeed.  
But neither one would ever suffer like that again while the other was there.  
They had each other to share their pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive this horrible story, and my shit stain attempt at sex.  
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> xo.


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